A look at “Adopting a queer lens working with LGBTQ+ young people” by Silva Neves (2026)
There’s a comforting story that goes something like this: things are so much better for young LGBTQIA+ people now. There’s Pride, rainbow lanyards, queer characters on TV. Surely they’re fine? This opinion piece by a London psychosexual and relationship psychotherapist argues that the story is dangerously incomplete, and that therapists who believe it may miss real distress.
What it argues
The author focuses on young adults aged 18 to 25, drawing on his clinical practice and a talk he gave at a sex and relationship therapy conference.
Progress isn’t the same as safety. Despite real social change, hostility hasn’t gone away. He notes that online homophobia, biphobia and transphobia have intensified around recent Pride months. He also notes that, at the time of writing, conversion practices were still not illegal in the UK. He shares an email he received from a qualified therapist who described sexual minorities as “preventable” disorders. It’s a sobering reminder that not every therapy room is safe, and that it’s not always obvious from a therapist’s website.
Training hasn’t caught up. Most UK therapy courses still teach little about gender, sex and relationship diversity (GSRD), leaving many therapists working from heteronormative assumptions.
The online world is a double-edged sword. Young people often turn to social media for sex education, because school didn’t provide it. They can find brilliant, accurate creators there, but also a flood of myths and pseudoscience. Online spaces can be affirming lifelines or sources of harm. Therapists need to be curious rather than judgemental about their clients’ digital lives, including the idea that people form genuine attachments to technology.
Old frameworks may need updating. He suggests rethinking how attachment styles are assessed in queer young people. He also highlights intraminority stress: the pressure and exclusion that can come from within LGBTQIA+ communities themselves.
Self-reflection is non-negotiable. Ethical, anti-oppressive practice means continually examining your own biases and blind spots, and staying culturally humble.
A grain of glitter ✨
This is a passionate, readable and genuinely useful piece, especially for therapists who assume they’re “already inclusive”. But it’s an opinion piece based on a conference talk, not research. It mixes evidence with clinical observation and personal experience, and its tone is openly campaigning.
Some claims are stated more firmly than the evidence allows. For example, the author describes sex and porn “addiction” as “unsupported by science”. That’s a respectable position, but it’s still debated: the WHO recognises compulsive sexual behaviour disorder, though not as an addiction (see “Out of Control, or Out of Step? The Science of Compulsive Sexual Behaviour and Porn Use”). Some statistics come from US surveys, which may not map directly onto UK young people.
Why this matters
If you’re a young LGBTQIA+ adult and struggling, don’t let anyone, including yourself, tell you it “should” be easier now. Your distress is real and deserves to be taken seriously. Look for a therapist who understands gender, sex and relationship diversity, who’s curious about your online life rather than dismissive of it, and who keeps examining their own assumptions.
The world may have more rainbows than it used to, but young unicorns still deserve a stable that’s genuinely safe, not just decorated.