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Opening Up, Opening Minds: Reflections on a Brilliant CPD Course
A Unicorn Reflection on the “Opening Up” course, led by Niki D and Alex Sanderson-Shortt (2026) Every so often a piece of training comes along that changes not just what you know, but how you sit with clients. This autumn I completed Opening Up, a CPD course on working therapeutically with open and polyamorous relationships,…
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Thinking of Opening Up? What the Research Tells Us About Consensual Non-Monogamy
A look at the reading list from the “Opening Up” course, including work by Terri Conley, Amy Moors, Meg Barker, Mycah and Ellen Katz, Rahil Roodsaz and Andie Nordgren Perhaps you’ve been daydreaming about it for a while. Perhaps your partner has raised it, and you’re not sure how you feel. Or perhaps you’ve already…
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“They Must Be Sick”: How Therapists See Non-Monogamous Clients
A look at “They must be sick: consensual nonmonogamy through the eyes of psychotherapists” by Katarzyna Grunt-Mejer and Agnieszka Łys (2022) Imagine walking into therapy for help with low mood and leaving with the strong impression that your real problem is your relationship. That’s despite you being perfectly happy in it. For many people in…
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Fair Shares for All: Autism, Theory of Mind and Moral Choices
A look at “Theory of Mind and Moral Decision-Making in the Context of Autism Spectrum Disorder” by Jessica E. Ringshaw, Katie Hamilton and Susan Malcolm-Smith (2022) Imagine you have ten stickers to share between two children. One worked harder, or has fewer toys, or is unwell. Do you give more to the child who seems…
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A Plot Twist in the Polyamory Story: Minority Stress and Mental Health
A look at “Minority stress in consensually non-monogamous individuals: mental health implications” by Nicholas C. Borgogna, Stephen L. Aita and Lilah J. Aita (2024) In several posts in this series, we’ve seen researchers point out that people in consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships are no less mentally healthy than monogamous people. So here’s a study that…
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The Less-Talked-About Letters: Therapist Bias Against Asexual, Polyamorous and Kinky Clients
A look at “Mental health provider bias and clinical competence in addressing asexuality, consensual non-monogamy, and BDSM: a narrative review” by Cara Herbitter, Michelle D. Vaughan and David W. Pantalone (2024) When we talk about LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy, some letters tend to get more airtime than others. The “A” for asexual, and the many people…
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When Two Is Too Few: A Therapist’s Guide to Polyamory
A look at “When two is too few: Addressing polyamorous clients in therapy” by Brittany Trexler (2024) Couples therapy has a built-in assumption right there in the name: couples. But what happens when a “system” of three, four or more people walks into the room, or when one person in a polyamorous network wants help…
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Queer, Kinky and Coming Out Twice: What Clients Want from Sex Therapy
A look at “Queer & kinky: what do queer BDSM practitioners need from psychosexual therapy to ensure their experience is relevant and inclusive?” by Jody M. Sill (2024) Many queer people know the exhausting ritual of coming out, again and again, to new doctors, colleagues and acquaintances. Now imagine doing it twice: once about who…
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Secure Attachment, Times Three: Emotionally Focused Therapy for Polyamorous Relationships
A look at “The use of emotionally focused therapy with polyamorous relationships” by Caitlin Edwards, Robert Allan, Nick Marzo, Ted Wynfield and Ryan Hicks (2023) Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is one of the best-researched approaches to couples therapy. It’s built on attachment theory: the idea that we all need a secure emotional bond with the…
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Coaching or Therapy: Which Do I Need?
“Should I see a coach or a therapist?” It’s one of the questions I’m asked most often. Both can be hugely helpful, they overlap in places, and many people benefit from both. But they’re different tools, designed for different jobs. The key differences Therapy (counselling or psychotherapy) helps you understand and work through emotional difficulties.…
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A Magnifying Glass for Love: Why People Choose Consensual Non-Monogamy
A look at “‘It’s a magnifying glass for your relationship’: a thematic analysis of motivations, benefits, and challenges in consensually non-monogamous relationships” by Rebecca Codrington and Daniel R. du Plooy (2024) Open relationships, polyamory, swinging, relationship anarchy: consensual non-monogamy (CNM) comes in many flavours. Estimates suggest around 5% of people are currently practising it. Yet…
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Measuring the Side-Eye: A New Tool for Attitudes Towards Non-Monogamy
A look at “Multidimensional Measurement of Attitudes Toward Consensual Non-Monogamy” by S. Skakoon-Sparling, N. Fairbrother, P. Socha, M. Faaborg-Andersen, S. W. Noor and T. A. Hart (2025) We’ve spent several posts looking at how people, therapists included, judge consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships. But how do you actually measure that judgement? This Canadian study set out…
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Does Therapy Work for Autistic Young People? A Meta-Analysis Weighs In
A look at “Meta-analysis of Psychotherapy for Autistic Youth” by Kashia A. Rosenau, Junok Kim, An-Chuen Billy Cho, Michael Seltzer, Ana M. Ugueto, John R. Weisz and Jeffrey J. Wood (2026) Parents of autistic children are sometimes told, in one way or another, that talking therapy “won’t work” for their child. Too literal, too rigid,…
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The Case of the Nearly Empty Review: Single-Session Support for Autistic People
A look at “Brief Report: Single-Session Interventions for Mental Health Challenges in Autistic People: An (Almost) Empty Systematic Review” by Dawn Adams (2026) There’s something rather delightful about a research paper that admits, right there in its title, that it found almost nothing. This Australian review set out to gather all the evidence on single-session…
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Integration, Not Pathology: A Sex-Positive Approach to “Out of Control” Desire
A look at “Sexual Integration Therapy: a sex-positive sexual health model supporting authentic sexual expression, while addressing sexual compulsivity, shame, fear and trauma” by Galen Fous, Christina Bazzaroni, Rachel Needle and Stephen Favasuli (2025) For most of the last century, psychology had a habit of deciding which desires were “normal” and which were “deviant”, and…
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Late-Diagnosed? The Grief, the Relief and Everything In Between
You’ve spent decades thinking you were lazy, too sensitive, scatty, odd or just “too much”. Then, in your thirties, forties or later, a diagnosis of ADHD or autism reframes everything. It’s a moment many adults describe as both a gift and a gut punch. What the research says The number of adults receiving a diagnosis…
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Neutral-ish, Until You Compare: What People Really Think of Non-Monogamy
A look at “Review and Critique of the Quantitative Literature Regarding Attitudes toward Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM)” by B. J. Rye (2024) Ask people how they feel about polyamory or open relationships and many will shrug: “Each to their own.” But put a monogamous couple and a polyamorous couple side by side, and something shifts. This…
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ADHD in Disguise: Four Unusual Adult Cases
A look at “Varied Presentations and Specific Treatment of Adult Attention-deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: Is There a Learning Lesson?” by Madhav Raje, Amaranth Mallik and Vinesh Chandramaniya (2026) A reminder that ADHD doesn’t always look like the textbook. Sometimes it arrives in disguise, as low mood that won’t lift, insomnia that’s been there since childhood, or…
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Head in the Clouds: Cognitive Disengagement, ADHD and Knowing What You Feel
A look at “Cognitive disengagement syndrome and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: An examination of relationships with alexithymia and emotion regulation difficulties” by Yavuz Yılmaz and Erdi Bahadır (2026) Some people’s attention bounces off the walls like a pinball. Others drift off on a cloud, gazing out of the window, lost in thought, mentally foggy and…
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Mostly Good News (With Some Glitches): Queer Clients’ Experiences of Therapy
A look at “Therapy and counselling experiences of queer adults in Germany” by Sonja Bröning and Agostino Mazziotta (2024) After the rather gloomy picture in “‘They Must Be Sick’: How Therapists See Non-Monogamous Clients”, here’s something a little more cheering. This German study asked nearly 500 queer adults about their actual experiences of therapy. The…