For decades, autistic people were described as lacking empathy, or struggling with “theory of mind”: the ability to understand what others are thinking. But what if the difficulty isn’t one-sided? What if non-autistic people find it just as hard to understand autistic people? That’s the idea behind the double empathy problem, and it’s changed how many people think about autism.
What the research says
The term was coined by Damian Milton, an autistic sociologist, in 2012. He argued that when people with very different ways of experiencing the world interact, misunderstandings run both ways. Autistic people aren’t uniquely “bad” at social communication; there’s a mismatch between two different communication styles.
Research has since backed this up:
- First impressions. Noah Sasson and colleagues (2017) found that non-autistic people formed more negative first impressions of autistic people within seconds, and were less interested in talking to them, even though those judgements disappeared when people only read transcripts of what was said.
- Passing on information. Catherine Crompton and colleagues (2020) ran a “chain” experiment, like a game of telephone. Information passed between autistic people was just as accurate as between non-autistic people. It was in mixed chains, between autistic and non-autistic people, that accuracy dropped. Autistic pairs also reported good rapport with each other.
In other words, autistic people often communicate perfectly well with each other. The breakdown happens across neurotypes.
A grain of glitter ✨
The double empathy problem is well supported, but it’s not the whole story. Many studies are relatively small and conducted in controlled lab settings, which may not capture the messiness of real life. Autistic people are also a hugely diverse group, and some people do experience genuine difficulties in social communication that they want support with. Recognising mutual misunderstanding doesn’t mean dismissing those struggles; it means not placing all the blame, or all the work, on the autistic person.
Why this matters
If you’re autistic and have spent years being told you’re “too blunt”, “too literal” or “not reading the room”, this research offers a kinder lens. You’re not failing at communication; you’re communicating differently, often in a world built for the majority. Good therapy shouldn’t try to make you sound more neurotypical. It should help you understand your own style, find people who “get” you, and decide for yourself when (and whether) adapting is worth the effort.
Unicorns speak fluent unicorn. It’s not our fault the horses never took lessons.
Further reading
- Milton, D. E. M. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: the “double empathy problem”. Disability & Society
- Sasson, N. J. et al. (2017). Neurotypical peers are less willing to interact with those with autism based on thin slice judgments. Scientific Reports
- Crompton, C. J. et al. (2020). Autistic peer-to-peer information transfer is highly effective. Autism