Tag: Kink
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Integration, Not Pathology: A Sex-Positive Approach to “Out of Control” Desire
A look at “Sexual Integration Therapy: a sex-positive sexual health model supporting authentic sexual expression, while addressing sexual compulsivity, shame, fear and trauma” by Galen Fous, Christina Bazzaroni, Rachel Needle and Stephen Favasuli (2025) For most of the last century, psychology had a habit of deciding which desires were “normal” and which were “deviant”, and…
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Queer, Kinky and Coming Out Twice: What Clients Want from Sex Therapy
A look at “Queer & kinky: what do queer BDSM practitioners need from psychosexual therapy to ensure their experience is relevant and inclusive?” by Jody M. Sill (2024) Many queer people know the exhausting ritual of coming out, again and again, to new doctors, colleagues and acquaintances. Now imagine doing it twice: once about who…
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The Less-Talked-About Letters: Therapist Bias Against Asexual, Polyamorous and Kinky Clients
A look at “Mental health provider bias and clinical competence in addressing asexuality, consensual non-monogamy, and BDSM: a narrative review” by Cara Herbitter, Michelle D. Vaughan and David W. Pantalone (2024) When we talk about LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy, some letters tend to get more airtime than others. The “A” for asexual, and the many people…
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Kink, Attachment and the Past: Untangling a Tricky Question
A look at “Childhood Sexual Abuse, Adult Attachment Styles, and Involvement in BDSM Practices in Adult Intimate Relationships” by Maja Selič and Vesna Jug (2025) There’s an old, tired assumption that anyone into kink must be “damaged” in some way. It’s an assumption that has done a lot of harm to people who simply enjoy…
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Three Hours to Kink-Aware? Therapists, BDSM and Feeling Ready to Help
A look at “Are we ready to serve? Couple and family therapists’ attitudes toward BDSM and their perceived competence to help BDSM practitioners” by Zachary Lane Berman, Mona Mittal, Mariana K. Falconier and Jessica N. Fish (2025) In “Queer, Kinky and Coming Out Twice: What Clients Want from Sex Therapy”, queer kinky clients said they…
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Welcome to the United Kink-dom: Furries, Pet Play and Beyond
A look at “A Survey of the United Kink-dom: Investigating Five Paraphilic Interest Groups and Their Demographic and Psychological Correlates” by Ashley Brown, Edward D. Barker, Stella Friedrich and Qazi Rahman (2026) With a title like that, we were always going to cover this one. Researchers at King’s College London surveyed people in five communities…
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Coming Out at Any Age (and in More Than One Way)
Coming out is often imagined as a single, dramatic moment, usually in your teens, usually involving a nervous family dinner. In reality, it’s rarely that tidy. Many people come out in their thirties, fifties or seventies. Many come out more than once: as queer, as trans, as polyamorous, as kinky, or as neurodivergent. And most…
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Kink-Aware Therapy: What It Is and Why It Matters
Imagine finally working up the courage to see a therapist about something that’s bothering you, mentioning in passing that you’re into BDSM, and watching the conversation swerve entirely onto your sex life. For many kinky people, that’s not imaginary. It’s why kink-aware therapy matters. What the research says In 2006, Keely Kolmes, Wendy Stock and…
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How to Find a Therapist Who Truly Affirms Your Identity
Looking for a therapist can feel like speed-dating, with higher stakes. For LGBTQIA+ people, there’s an extra layer: will this person understand me, or will I spend my sessions educating them? Worse, will they quietly see who I am as the problem? Here’s how to find someone who’ll welcome the whole of you. What “affirming”…