Tag: Relationships
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“They Must Be Sick”: How Therapists See Non-Monogamous Clients
A look at “They must be sick: consensual nonmonogamy through the eyes of psychotherapists” by Katarzyna Grunt-Mejer and Agnieszka Łys (2022) Imagine walking into therapy for help with low mood and leaving with the strong impression that your real problem is your relationship. That’s despite you being perfectly happy in it. For many people in…
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When Two Is Too Few: A Therapist’s Guide to Polyamory
A look at “When two is too few: Addressing polyamorous clients in therapy” by Brittany Trexler (2024) Couples therapy has a built-in assumption right there in the name: couples. But what happens when a “system” of three, four or more people walks into the room, or when one person in a polyamorous network wants help…
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A Plot Twist in the Polyamory Story: Minority Stress and Mental Health
A look at “Minority stress in consensually non-monogamous individuals: mental health implications” by Nicholas C. Borgogna, Stephen L. Aita and Lilah J. Aita (2024) In several posts in this series, we’ve seen researchers point out that people in consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships are no less mentally healthy than monogamous people. So here’s a study that…
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Neutral-ish, Until You Compare: What People Really Think of Non-Monogamy
A look at “Review and Critique of the Quantitative Literature Regarding Attitudes toward Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM)” by B. J. Rye (2024) Ask people how they feel about polyamory or open relationships and many will shrug: “Each to their own.” But put a monogamous couple and a polyamorous couple side by side, and something shifts. This…
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A Magnifying Glass for Love: Why People Choose Consensual Non-Monogamy
A look at “‘It’s a magnifying glass for your relationship’: a thematic analysis of motivations, benefits, and challenges in consensually non-monogamous relationships” by Rebecca Codrington and Daniel R. du Plooy (2024) Open relationships, polyamory, swinging, relationship anarchy: consensual non-monogamy (CNM) comes in many flavours. Estimates suggest around 5% of people are currently practising it. Yet…
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Secure Attachment, Times Three: Emotionally Focused Therapy for Polyamorous Relationships
A look at “The use of emotionally focused therapy with polyamorous relationships” by Caitlin Edwards, Robert Allan, Nick Marzo, Ted Wynfield and Ryan Hicks (2023) Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is one of the best-researched approaches to couples therapy. It’s built on attachment theory: the idea that we all need a secure emotional bond with the…
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Non-Monogamy and Therapy: What to Expect and What to Ask
Polyamory, open relationships, relationship anarchy, swinging: consensual non-monogamy (CNM) comes in many shapes. It’s also far more common than many people assume. Yet plenty of people in CNM relationships go to therapy for help with something entirely unrelated, only to find their relationship structure becomes the focus. Here’s what the research tells us, and how…
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The Bedroom and the Inner Critic: What Shapes Sexual Satisfaction for Gay Men?
A look at “A Theoretical Model for Predicting the Derivation of Sexual Satisfaction in Gay Men” by Rusi Jaspal, Anthony Gifford and Udo Scheinpflug (2026) Great sex isn’t just about technique or chemistry. It’s also about what’s going on in your head, including the voices you’ve absorbed over a lifetime. For many gay men, one…
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Welcome to the United Kink-dom: Furries, Pet Play and Beyond
A look at “A Survey of the United Kink-dom: Investigating Five Paraphilic Interest Groups and Their Demographic and Psychological Correlates” by Ashley Brown, Edward D. Barker, Stella Friedrich and Qazi Rahman (2026) With a title like that, we were always going to cover this one. Researchers at King’s College London surveyed people in five communities…
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Player Two Has Entered the Relationship: How Gaming Together Brings Partners Closer
A look at “Relationship Benefits of Gaming Together: A Phenomenological Approach” by Kaitlyn Swecker, Carissa D’Aniello-Heyda, Kayleese Martinez, Abigail Nixon, Jaclyn C. Pickens, Alyssa Costa, Stephen T. Fife and Dana Weiser (2025) Most research on video games and relationships tells a familiar tale: one partner (usually imagined as a straight man) disappears into a headset,…
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Busting the Monogamy-Superiority Myth: What 35 Studies Say About Satisfaction
A look at “Countering the Monogamy-Superiority Myth: A Meta-Analysis of the Differences in Relationship Satisfaction and Sexual Satisfaction as a Function of Relationship Orientation” by Joel R. Anderson, Jordan D. X. Hinton, Alena Bondarchuk-McLaughlin, Scarlet Rosa, Kian Jin Tan and Lily Moor (2026) Throughout this series, we’ve met plenty of studies hinting that people in…
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“Who Are You?”: Queer Co-Mothers and the Professionals Who Don’t Quite Get It
A look at “‘We carry on living in this othered world’: An interpretative phenomenological analysis of lesbian/queer co-mothers’ relationships with professional support” by Beth Levy and Amanda Middleton (2025) Picture walking into a GP surgery, a school meeting or a hospital ward with your partner and your child, only to be met with a puzzled…
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Who Cares for the Carers? LGBTQIA+ Caregivers and Mental Health
A look at “Assessing sexual and gender identity interaction with the relationship between caregiving and adverse mental health outcomes” by G. Thomas Wilson II, Gilbert Gimm and Rodman Turpin (2026) Caring for an ageing parent, a poorly partner or a friend in need is one of the most loving things anyone can do. It can…
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When the Past Climbs Into Bed: Profiles of Trauma and Sexuality
A look at “Profiles of Traumatic Sexuality in Sex Therapy Patients: A Comparison of Interpersonal Trauma History and Sexual Well-Being” by Nadia Willard Martel, Ateret Gewirtz-Meydan, Shalie-Emma Vaillancourt, Martine Hébert and Natacha Godbout (2025) A gentle note: this post discusses sexual and interpersonal trauma in general terms. For many people who have experienced trauma, the…
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In It Together: Relationships, Drugs and Sexual Health for Queer Men in Open Relationships
A look at “Interdependence and Sexual Health: Relationship factors associated with sexual behavior among sexual minority males in non-monogamous relationships who use drugs” by Tyrel J. Starks, Joseph R. Hillesheim, Juan Castiblanco and Demetria Cain (2026) Most sexual health research treats people as solo decision-makers: one person, one choice about condoms, one risk. But for…
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Beyond Monogamy: What Happens in the Therapist’s Body When You Say “We’re Open”
A look at “Beyond monogamy” by Kelli Ennis (2026) Say the words “consensual non-monogamy” in a room full of people and you’ll get every reaction going, from fascinated curiosity to a horrified “I could never!” Therapists are no exception. This Therapy Today good-practice piece, by a relationship therapist, turns the spotlight not on clients but…
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“Not Enough” vs “Never Perfect”: Why Men Consider Penis Enlargement Surgery
A look at “‘Not enough’ vs. ‘never perfect’: a qualitative analysis of penile enlargement surgery intentions in heterosexual and homosexual men” by Boqiang Zhang, Tie Li and Bin Lei (2026) We hear a lot about body image pressures on women, and increasingly on gay men’s bodies more broadly: gym culture, dating apps and the endless…
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“I Couldn’t, I’m Way Too Jealous!”: How Polyamorous People Really Handle Jealousy
A look at “‘How Do You Manage It? I Couldn’t; I’m Way Too Jealous!’ A Qualitative Research on How Polyamorous People Deal with Their Partners’ Relationships” by Natalia Spada, Marco De Vettor, Nicola Carone, Arianna Feligioni, Gabriele Lo Buglio, Vittorio Lingiardi, Guido Giovanardi and Tommaso Boldrini (2026) Tell someone you’re polyamorous and there’s a good…